搞笑口语：女人的话

    都说女人心海底针，男人总也猜不透女人在想什么，于是，有人总结出这么一个表格来对应女人的话和潜台词，小编我觉得写出这么一个表的人肯定是位男士，大家看看笑笑就好啦，日常生活中，不管是男人还是女人，最好都可以坦诚沟通，不要有什么潜台词。

    女人的话：Yes 是
    潜台词   ：No   不

    女人的话：No   不
    潜台词   ：Yes 是的

    女人的话：Maybe也许吧
    潜台词   ：No   不行

    女人的话：I'm sorry.我很抱歉。
    潜台词   ：You'll be sorry.你将会觉得抱歉的。

    女人的话：We need我们需要……
    潜台词   ：I want我想要……

    女人的话：It's your decision.这事你决定吧。
    潜台词   ：The correct decision should be obvious by now.正确决定是什么现在应该很明显了吧。

    女人的话：Do what you want 你想做什么就去做吧
    潜台词   ：You'll pay for this later.稍后你会付出代价的。

    女人的话：We need to talk 我们需要谈一谈
    潜台词   ：I need to complain 我需要抱怨

    女人的话：Sure... go ahead当然……去吧
    潜台词   ：I don't want you to. 我不想你去

    女人的话：I'm not upset 我没有觉得不安
    潜台词   ：Of course I'm upset, you moron! 我当然很不安，你这个笨蛋！

    女人的话：You're ... so manly 你……很男人
    潜台词   ：You need a shave and you sweat a lot. 你应该刮胡子了，身上还有很多汗。

    女人的话：You're certainly attentive tonight 你今晚很殷勤啊
    潜台词   ：Is sex all you ever think about? 你脑子里想的只有性吗？

    女人的话：Be romantic, turn out the lights 浪漫点，把灯关掉吧。
    潜台词   ：I have flabby thighs.我大腿肌肉很松弛。

    女人的话：This kitchen is so inconvenient 这个厨房太不方便了
    潜台词   ：I want a new house. 我想要一个新房子。

    女人的话：I want new curtains 我要新窗帘
    潜台词   ：and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper..... 还有地毯，还有家具，还有墙纸……

    女人的话：Hang the picture there 把照片挂在那
    潜台词   ：NO, I mean hang it there! 不对，我说的是挂在那！

    女人的话：I heard a noise 我听到有什么动静
    潜台词   ：I noticed you were almost asleep.我看你快睡着了。

    女人的话：Do you love me?你爱我吗？
    潜台词   ：I'm going to ask for something expensive.我想要点贵的东西。

    女人的话：How much do you love me?你爱我有多深？
    潜台词   ：I did something today you're really not going to like.我今天做了一件你非常不喜欢的事情。

    女人的话：I'll be ready in a minute.我马上就好了。
    潜台词   ：Kick off your shoes and find a game on TV.脱下鞋子打开电视找场比赛看吧。

    女人的话：Is my butt fat?我的屁股肥吗？
    潜台词   ：Tell me I'm beautiful.告诉我我很漂亮。

    女人的话：You have to learn to communicate.你应该学着沟通。
    潜台词   ：Just agree with me.同意我就行了

    女人的话：Are you listening to me!?你在听我说话吗？
    潜台词   ：Too late, you're dead.太晚了，你死定了。

    女人的话：Was that the baby?是宝宝吗？
    潜台词   ：Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.你为什么不下床去把孩子哄睡着？

    女人的话：I'm not yelling!我没在喊！
    潜台词   ：Yes I am yelling because I think this is important. 是的，我在喊因为我觉得这很重要。

    来源：搜狐教育社区

Joke of Today

Be Somebody before You Can be Nobody!

    An archbishop was visiting a church and suddenly he felt moved to kneel in front of the Cross and say, "Oh God, have pity on me. I am really no one. Please, have pity on me."

    And then the bishop, seeing the archbishop doing that, knelt down next to him and said, "Oh God, have mercy on me. I am nobody. Have mercy on me. I am no one."

    And then the minister of the church,seeing the archbishop and the bishop doing that, knelt next to them and said, "Oh God, have mercy on me. I am nobody. I am no one."

    And there was a janitor nearby sweeping the floor, and seeing what they were all doing, he also knelt in front of the Cross next to them and said, "Oh God, have mercy on me. I am no one. I am humble; I am no one."

    And the archbishop looked at him and said, "Look at who's saying he's a nobody here!" How humble, indeed!